The third question in a 2018 survey responded to by 212 individuals age 36-55, allowed them to identify the sources they use to cultivate wisdom in their lives and to indicate the ones they find most helpful. Just like the feedback from millennials, their answers were evenly distributed across the choices provided -with the highest number of responses belonging to reflecting on life experience and engaging their family and friends in the process, and the lowest being the reading of sacred texts.

Favorite Sources of Wisdom from Highest to Lowest 

• Reflecting on Life Experience–186 respondents
• Friends and Family–186 respondents
• Articles and Books (workshops and podcasts)–171 respondents
• Being in Nature–140 respondents
• Creative Pursuits (music, art, poetry….)–125 respondents
• Religious or Spiritual Leaders**—116 respondents
• Spiritual Practice—110 respondents
• Personal/Journal Writing—81 respondents
• Sacred Texts—54 respondents

 **The order of preference is almost identical to the responses of 18-35 year olds with the exception of Religious/Spiritual Leaders ranking 6, whereas the younger generation had a ranking of 8

The comments section further illuminated the choices of Gen X, as they described an holistic wellness approach to cultivating wisdom: through exercise, Tai Chi, Yoga, meditation, mindfulness practice, motivational social media, reading and engaging in workshops. In addition, they relied on people they respected as personal mentors, counselors and spiritual directors to help lead them to a deeper understanding of their life experiences. In fact, these influences were mentioned more frequently than specific friends and family members (even though 88% of respondents checked off friends and family members as a wisdom source).

As a whole, the group expressed a strong value in reflecting on their life experiences.  They used a variety of spiritual practices in both natural and church settings and were even willing to consider the following question:

What is your reaction to thinking about yourself as a source of wisdom?

About a quarter of the respondents shared their discomfort, rejection or indifference to the possibility that they could be a source of wisdom, with comments such as LOL, that’s comical, or I am weirdly uncomfortable. Others revealed that it was scary and an “overwhelming responsibility” to be thought of as a source of wisdom. Or they simply felt it was egotistical to view one’s self that way, particularly if they already acknowledged that they were “too judgmental.”

The remaining seventy-five percent expressed a more positive view with comments suggesting that it was “intriguing” to consider one’s self as a source of wisdom or that it was an honor to share their insights.  Of these individuals, many said that since everyone has the potential to develop wisdom, it made sense to see their own life experience as fertile soil for its growth. This opinion was reinforced when others turned to them for advice, particularly if they were younger or had less experience on a subject. Since knowledge is often equated with wisdom, some turned to their work for inspiration and it helped them to see themselves as a source of wisdom in this setting. Others spoke of their spiritual connection or relationship with God that influenced their experience.

I was moved by the thread of humility woven throughout all the answers that I read.  This was combined with an expressed respect for the privilege of being able to share one’s perspective with another person.

To continue with this series revealing the responses of 36-55 year olds to a wisdom survey, click here and learn about where wisdom is most needed according to Gen X.

 

“Knowing that I may be wise in certain aspects of life and subject materials, but not all, is in itself a wise position,” said one man in response to the second question of my wisdom survey:  Do you consider yourself to be wise?  A majority of the 212 individuals age 36-55 also answered “Yes,” to this question.

Yes, I am Wise

While they were slightly less confident than the 18-35 year olds I surveyed earlier in declaring their wisdom (78% of Millennials answered yes to this question compared to 72% of Gen X), the reasons behind the answers of my 36-55 year old group came from a changed perspective about cultivating wisdom.  The younger generation answered yes to the question of being wise because they were willing to learn from their life experiences; whereas, the Gen X respondents said it was because of what they had already learned from their life experiences.   From this new vantage point they began offering different expectations about what wisdom needed to look like in their lives.

The majority of the “yes group” indicated that the development of personal wisdom is a process that involves self-awareness, the willingness to learn from your mistakes and always expand your viewpoint. For some, this entailed gaining knowledge and a variety of experiences.  Others recognized a deepening of their spirituality and intuitive knowing as they aged. For all, their life was an unfolding story with new characters and challenges entering to guide them to a greater understanding of themselves.  In other words, “wisdom is not a destination arrived at, but a journey that never ends.”

No, I am not Wise

As with my millennial respondents to this question, the answers expressed by the individuals who did not consider themselves to be wise (or maybe sometimes) held a great deal of self-awareness. For these individuals, their age prevented them from saying “Yes, I am wise” because they felt that more life experience was needed in order to gain wisdom. Many of them also shared that they didn’t have the right type of world experience, or they didn’t take the time necessary to reflect and synthesize their experiences into wisdom.

Personal characteristics were also attributed to preventing the development of wisdom, as expressed in these statements:

• I am too impatient, reactive, impulsive
• I am too easily influenced by others
• I cannot let go of petty annoyances
• I let negative thinking get the best of me
• I have made too many bad choices in my life

Others described themselves as smart, intellectual, passionate and driven instead of being wise.

It’s Important to Know What You don’t Know

Just like the Millennials who responded to my wisdom survey, it was important for the 36-55 year olds to share their opinions with humility and to acknowledge that wisdom is not a judgement you can make about yourself. In fact, less than 4% of Gen X respondents indicated that they were wise because someone else gave them this feedback. Yet their growing confidence seemed to be the result of shifting their perspective about mistakes made in life, while embracing new knowledge and learning to listen to their “inner knowing.”

To continue with this series revealing the responses of 36-55 year olds to a wisdom survey, click here and learn about the favorite sources of wisdom influencing Gen X.

 

“Where is wisdom not needed?” said a quarter of my Gen X respondents before selecting among six categories to indicate where wisdom is needed most today. Many of the 212 individuals age 36-55 who participated in my wisdom survey, also expressed their concerns about where wisdom is lacking as they shared their insights. Their responses are summarized below the survey results, in order of highest to lowest preference.

Note: The answers of 18-35 year olds were almost identical to above- with the exception of the younger group ranking Schools higher than Home and Family.

Government

“Our current political environment is hardening people…..and acting for the collective good is in jeopardy,” said one respondent. “We are not being governed by wise leadership” and the “current divisive reality of US politics is heartbreaking,” said two others. Some merely said, “Just turn on the news, isn’t it obvious?” when referring to the lack of wisdom in government. The level of frustration expressed by Gen X was a little deeper than that shared by the younger generation who simply want leaders “to actually lead,” and maybe haven’t lost their faith that someone with wisdom will fulfill this role. “Government needs to begin looking beyond short term results to see the long view that wisdom requires.”

Home and Family

The family “as a building block of society” where “everything begins” was expressed almost as an antidote to the lack of wisdom in government. A positive home life held the promise of being a grassroots influence if it was led by parents with the ability to teach their young children to act in a conscientious manner as they modeled wisdom. This view was juxtaposed with the concern that family life could disintegrate if people are too distracted by cultural and social media influences rather than taking the time to have direct interactions and conversations about topics that matter. Regardless of whether respondents held a hopeful or fearful opinion of our family life, both agreed that families need a lot of support to function in our technological age.

Schools

Another view expressed was that families “are mostly set in their ways” so we need to look to educational institutions “to really help make positive changes on a larger scale.” However, this can be challenging when society doesn’t listen to teachers or provide the resources to develop mentors for our young people. Some are worried that too many kids are falling through the cracks and this will affect everyone’s future.

Workplace

We spend a lot of time at work, yet we don’t always see this as a place that needs wisdom, even though it is where many people “receive their identity.”  According to one respondent, “The workplace, for many, is a means to an end:  We do something we hope makes a difference and we bring home a paycheck.”  A wise leader can have a huge impact on an organization, not just by making effective financial decisions but by building a sense of community and strong teams. This is a goal worth aspiring to; however, too many leaders are “simply concerned with the bottom line” and they miss the opportunity to empower their employees to develop and share wisdom.

Neighborhoods

 “When we know our neighbors, we reduce the fear of the other. We help, we look out for one another and we are inspired to make changes.”  While some of the respondents lamented that we don’t know our neighbors, many believe that “transformation will happen at the local level” as they advocated for action by “average citizens” or “ordinary humans.” They wanted to see neighborhoods begin to thrive because they were based on each person’s unique contribution and together we could begin to impact the problems we find in our communities.

Religious Institutions

To those who checked this box, there may have been an expectation that religious institutions should be a place of wisdom; however, several respondents clearly communicated that this could not be assumed. “Religion, in my opinion, is driven by ideology and beliefs – not wisdom.” “Religious institutions knowingly and even unwittingly create tension and disunity among communities, neighborhoods, families, individuals.  True Wisdom would pay attention to this and guard against that ability they have to separate people.”  Even though this was the last area checked in order of popularity, 53% of Gen X respondents still checked this box and appeared to be connected to religious institutions.

The insights expressed by my 36-55 year old respondents as they shared their concerns about where we need to cultivate wisdom today, reveal a group ready to take on the challenges we face in our world.  Their previous answers to the questions in the wisdom survey had a similar message to those of the 18-35 year old respondents and piqued my curiosity about what I will learn from the next age group, the 56-75 year olds, infamously known as The Boomers.

To begin reading the Boomers wisdom series, click here

To start at the beginning of the Gen X series, click here

 To read the Millennial series, click here

 

In a recent survey of 212 individuals aged 35-55 (mostly Generation X with a few Millennials and Boomers as book ends) they were asked to identify who they consider to be “one of the wisest people in the world.” While it was difficult for some of them to respond to such an open-ended question, the majority were able to identify someone they believed to be wise and to share their thoughts about personal wisdom.  In fact many of their answers mirrored the responses of 18-35 year olds who answered this same question in my wisdom survey.

Here is a brief breakdown of what was shared with me.

Humanitarians, Social Activists, Religious and Political Leaders-43% of respondents

While this was the most popular category for both my Millennial and Gen X respondents, the latter group was 65% more likely to name a religious figure or even Jesus /God as their determination of the “wisest person.” This was in contrast to the 18-35 year olds who had a more even distribution between humanitarians, social activists, religious and political leaders in their responses.

Here are the people who were specifically named by Gen X in order of their frequency from highest to lowest:

Dalai Lama*–for his compassion, peacefulness, speaking up about injustice and recognizing our inter-connectedness

Barack Obama*–for his balanced approach to problem solving, being respectful of diversity, and making difficult decisions with grace

Pope Francis*--for being a bridge builder between traditional wisdom and real life modern issues, committed to servant leadership and reaching out to new audiences

Maya Angelou*–for overcoming personal tragedy to inspire others with her balanced worldview and positive perspective

Martin Luther King*–for the ability to balance strong principles and achieve practical results with a non-violent response to injustice

Mother Teresa*–for uplifting humanity through her practice of non-judgement, compassion and humility

Nelson Mandela*–for persevering in the face of adversity and demonstrating generosity of spirit

Mahatma Gandhi—for his ability to see truth through fear, stress and anger

Pema Chodron—for her teachings on impermanence and non-attachment and how to practice mindfulness in daily life

*Indicates they were also named by 18-35 year olds in this category

The Elders and Work Influences-21% of respondents

While a small percentage of individuals in this category spoke about “elders” in general or being inspired by a supervisor or CEO of their company, the majority of them expressed learning something valuable from their parents and grandparents. Some were deeply impressed with family members who possessed little or no formal education yet demonstrated wise action and integrity in their life decisions. Others were grateful for the perspective offered by parents who had overcome challenges and were still able to offer a supportive listening ear.

Some of the sentiments above were similar to those expressed by the Millennials; however, the Gen X respondents also articulated the importance of passing on knowledge to the next generation. One man in particular, shared gratitude for his stepfather who “knows just about everything” and taught him skills “so I may teach my sons someday.”

Business Leaders, Celebrities and Authors—17% of respondents

The person mentioned most frequently in this category was Oprah Winfrey, who was acknowledged for being a life-long learner who is willing to share with others what she has learned through deeply listening to people. She was also identified as an intelligent business woman, who is reflective and intentional in her work. The only other business leader making it to the list from Gen X was Warren Buffet.  He was recognized by two respondents for his ability to make excellent business choices by selecting actions in the present that predict future results, and for donating a considerable portion of his wealth to charitable causes.

It is interesting to note that in this category the younger generation more frequently acknowledged business leaders and celebrities as wise, while Gen X listed authors and speakers. They appreciated the sharing of knowledge and experience in the areas of science, human behavior and spirituality.

Here is a list of their endorsements in alphabetical order:  Dale Carnegie, Noam Chomsky, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Dwayne Dyer, Tim Ferriss, Natalie Goldberg, Louise Hay, Sue Monk Kidd, Michelle Obama, Mary Oliver, Trey Parker, Oliver Saks, Tony Robbins, SARK (Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy) Eckert Tolle, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Neale Donald Walsch.

 The Unnamed—12% of respondents

The respondents who were unable to name “just one person,” as wise seemed to be looking for the perfect role model who had the ability to listen deeply and would “seek to understand “your viewpoint.  They didn’t share a common list of characteristics for someone who is wise like the 18-35 year olds did. However, they did point out that everyone has strengths and weaknesses and that there were many kinds of wisdom. They wanted “everyday humans” to work together to reduce suffering and to take care of our community, and they acknowledged that financial resources were needed to accomplish this.

Other Friends and Family Members—7% of respondents

This is perhaps my favorite category because it reveals the importance of our personal connections and the potential we all have to influence our friends and family members. My Gen X respondents acknowledged:

• A spouse for being a good thinker
• Siblings for patient support and listening “without casting judgment”
• Friends for sharing their vulnerability, honesty, compassion, perspective and “the best advice of anyone I know”
• Young children for their example of living from a state of intuition, curiosity, creativity and trust

Overall, the responses of 36-55 year olds to the first question in my wisdom survey revealed similar patterns to the answers expressed by 18-35 year olds.

The next area of inquiry is:  Does Gen X consider themselves to be wise? Click here to find out.