The third question in a 2018 survey responded to by 239 individuals age 56-75, allowed them to identify the sources they use to cultivate wisdom in their lives and to indicate the ones they find most helpful. Just like the responses of Millennials and Gen X, their answers were evenly distributed across the choices provided -with the highest number of responses belonging to reflecting on life experience and the lowest being the reading of sacred texts.

Favorite Sources of Wisdom from Highest to Lowest

• Reflecting on Life Experience*–208 respondents
• Friends and Family*–189 respondents
• Articles and Books*–187 respondents
• Being in Nature*–170 respondents
• Spiritual Practice—149 respondents
• Religious or Spiritual Leaders—129 respondents
• Creative Pursuits (music, art, poetry….)–125 respondents
• Personal/Journal Writing—91 respondents
• Sacred Texts—85 respondents

*Same order of preference as Millennial and Gen X respondents

The comments section of this question asked the respondents to share which of the sources were the most helpful to them and here is where they described the reasons behind their selections. Note: 5% of the respondents did not leave a comment and 6% said that all the choices were equally important. For the remaining 89%, they enumerated on their selections with descriptions of how they closely observed and reflected on the interactions with the people in their lives, participated in a daily spiritual practice or engaged in journal writing. A good majority were reading, attending workshops or training with a spiritual teacher or mentor. They listened to the opinions of family and friends who had earned their respect. Being in nature was rejuvenating and centering and the environment sought to renew one’s spirit. Though only 5% were reading sacred texts, the ones who were engaged shared that it was a regular practice that enlightened them as they connected the wisdom to their everyday experiences.

What is your reaction to thinking about yourself as a source of wisdom?

The response to this question was consistent with the Boomer’s reaction to being asked if they considered themselves to be wise, 80% provided a positive answer ranging from being comfortable with the concept to acknowledging that they were a “work in progress” or that this was the first time they had ever considered such a question. For the majority that was accepting of themselves as a source of wisdom, it was with great humility (the most frequently cited word in their descriptions) and a strong sense of responsibility that they accepted the honor.  Many felt that wisdom did indeed “come with age” but they were quick to distinguish the selective nature of this. “I have wisdom for those whose experiences I have lived.  Others have wisdom for me.” The opportunity to share one’s personal wisdom was considered a blessing by some, particularly if they felt connected to their spiritual source.

For those that did not consider themselves to be a source of wisdom, their comments expressed fear, laughter and an admission that it was egotistical to think of one’s self in this way. This was different than the response of those who were thinking about it for the first time (and shared that they were “pleasantly surprised” with the possibility). The reticence shared by those not wanting to “own” that they could be a wisdom source was often accompanied by statements that they were “only a student” and it was a great responsibility to share what they learned with another person.

In the words of Sandra Marinella, author of The Story You Need to Tell, “…all humans who seek and search for wisdom as a life goal should evolve to the point of seeing themselves not simply as a collector of wisdom but also as one who shares wisdom with others when called to share it. It is a rewarding aspect of aging–being able to give back and mentor others.”

 

 

 

 

When asked in a 2018 survey, “Do you consider yourself to be wise,” eighty percent of 56-75 year olds were able to say “Yes,” which is higher than the Millennial and Gen X response to this same question (average 75%).

 Yes, I am Wise

With 186 individuals providing an affirmative answer to the question of personal wisdom, it is interesting to delve further into the reasons for their confidence.  The chart below shows the breakdown:

Reflection and Values

These respondents indicated they were wise because they were thoughtful and reflective before taking action. They were not impulsive, and tried to remain calm in the midst of stress.  It was important for them to practice non-judgement, be a reflective listener and to engage multiple points of view in decision making. Some had learned to set their ego and cultural expectations aside to be more authentic in their actions.  They expressed a strong value in cultivating wisdom, some acknowledging that they were at “the beginning stage” of acquiring it but their practice of reflection was helping them to strengthen it in their lives.

Age and Life Experience

For this group, the richness of their life experience has been the fertile ground from which to grow wisdom. “As I fully inhabit my 60’s, I find myself to be a wise crone, with years of experience and self-examination.” Another person shared that he had learned much thru trials and tribulations. Others described specific experiences that shaped their wisdom like growing up on a farm, or battling with cancer. The aging process has helped them to change their perspective and experience more freedom to “be who I am” than when they were younger.

Continuous Learning

A commitment to educating one’s self, seeking knowledge from a variety of sources and applying what has been learned are the hallmarks of wisdom for these respondents. They are voracious readers and researchers, searching out others from whom to gain insights.  Learning from mistakes is important too:  “I look at life as a classroom and am always open to all possibilities.” From this vantage point, some have even learned to integrate their knowledge and intuition to develop a sense of “inner knowing.”

Sometimes Wise

Acknowledging the fluid nature of wisdom as a process was important for this group, whose comments indicated that they were wise sometimes. This was a comment made by many in the younger generations as well. There seemed to be an agreement among this group that unless you were knowledgeable about all subjects, insightful in every situation, than you could not state that you were wise. However, this did not mean that they checked the “no” box because they also wanted to share that they had gained a measure of wisdom in their lives only in specific areas. Or in the words of one respondent, “all my wisdom is borrowed from others.”

Feedback from Others

Only a small number indicated that they considered themselves to be wise because people came to them for advice. It was usually someone younger or a family member. However, a good portion of my 56-75 year old group as a whole seemed eager to share what they had learned with “the next generation,” but it appears they are not often asked to do so.

No, I am Not Wise

For the 20% of my respondents who checked the “no” box, it was often to acknowledge the uncompleted journey or to point out a personal trait that prevented them from demonstrating wisdom.

As with the younger generations, their comments often showed their self-awareness:

• I always learn the hard way
• I haven’t learned anywhere near my capacity. I regret that.
• Too cynical in certain situations
• I followed a course based on fear
• I’m selfish and narcissistic. I have to work at showing others kindness and charity
• I’m too judgmental before getting all of the facts
• While I am on my way, I still have much to learn from others…most notably about humility

One respondent shared that while he was aware of his imperfections, he needed to do more to “eliminate them.” Others made the observation that they often “made stupid mistakes,” but unlike the people who thought it was wise to learn from them, these folks simply saw them as a character flaw.

Once again, whether my respondents indicated they were currently wise or not, all could agree that “Becoming wise is a never-ending journey rather than a destination.” For the 239 Boomers who completed my wisdom survey, all were taking the trip with the intention of “getting there,” whether it was for their own growth or to share with the next generation.

To learn about the sources that 56-75 year olds are using to cultivate wisdom, click here

 

 

 

 

In a 2018 survey of 239 individuals age 56-75, they were asked to name who they considered to be one of the “wisest people in the world.” Their responses will be shared in category breakdowns previously described in two other blog series that described how younger generations responded to a survey about personal wisdom.

Humanitarians, Social Activists, Religious and Political Leaders-57% of respondents

As with the Millennials and Gen X, this was the most popular category that identified people who model wisdom and inspire us. However, with the Boomer generation their response was even more pronounced (with 57% making the selection compared to an average of 45% between the younger generations). The list supplied by the 56-75 year olds was fairly comprehensive with over twenty-five separate names being submitted.  Here is a list of their top ten in order of frequency of being selected:

• Dalai Lama*– for his healing presence and compassion for humanity
• Pope Francis*-for his contemplative nature, kind and open-minded leadership
• Barack Obama*-for his even-tempered and thoughtful leadership, communicating complex issues
• Mother Teresa*-for modeling a life of simplicity and love
• Maya Angelou*-for having lived, survived and thrived and expressing her authentic voice
• Mahatma Gandhi-for his understanding of love, peace and forgiveness
• Nelson Mandela*-for using love over anger to serve his community and inspire the world
• Jimmy Carter-for understanding the imperfection of the human condition
• King Solomon-for recognizing that true wisdom comes from God
• Queen Elizabeth-for enduring an incredible lifetime of challenges and changes

 *Also appeared in the top ten list of both the Millennial and Gen X groups surveyed

Business Leaders, Celebrities and Authors—14% of respondents

The Boomer response in this category was evenly distributed between business leaders, celebrities and authors in contrast to the Millennials that acknowledged business leaders and celebrities more frequently and Gen X who named Authors more often. Once again, the person named most frequently in this category was Oprah Winfrey because she is open-minded, spiritually grounded, has an “instinctual knack” for understanding the feelings of others, and has “reached so many people–regardless of race, religion or location.” Ellen DeGeneres was also acknowledged for her honesty, sense of humor and generosity.

The most specific acknowledgement in the business sector went to Bill Gates:  Once the richest man in the world, he stepped away from the enterprise he built (difficult to do all by itself) to create a foundation that, by all accounts, does good work.  To be effective, he set strict criteria for where the foundation would focus its attention, resources, and capital.  Other business leaders named in this category were Warren Buffet and Elon Musk but there was no explanation as to why the respondents made these choices. Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking were heralded for their knowledge of science and having a visionary lens.

Many of the authors named by this group were on the list because of their contribution to our understanding of human behavior and the effects on our health or that of our planet such as Stephen Covey, Deepak Chopra, Dr. Wayne Dyer, and Charles Eisenstein. Others applied spiritual teachings to everyday life:  Pema Chodron, Ram Dass, and Joan Chittister.  Even poet Mary Oliver was acknowledged for drawing on the wisdom of creation found in nature.

Wrapping up this category was the recognition of Mr. Rogers (who was also mentioned by Millennials) as a positive role model for human kindness—an attribute that many of us are thirsting for in our quest for wisdom.

The Elders and Work Influences-13% of respondents

It is interesting to note that the younger generations named someone from this category at a greater frequency than the 56-75 year olds (23% as compared to 13%).  I wonder if the reason for this could be found in the John Denver lyrics quoted by a Boomer respondent:  “It turns me on to think of growing old,” that expresses a realization that the boomers were becoming “the elders,” so it was important to honor their own.

Many of the Boomer respondents did name their parents and grandparents as being wise, as they acknowledged the breadth of their life experience or the love that they had received from them. One woman admitted, “I didn’t fully understand the wisdom that had been shared with me until I became much older.”

They also shared their appreciation for Clergy, a Police Chief, an attorney and a professional basketball coach who demonstrated honesty, loyalty, humility and the ability to “do the right thing.”  Clearly this group had received positive mentoring and was interested in returning the favor.

The Unnamed—11% of respondents

Similar to the responses I received from the younger generations, the Boomers who did not want to name a single person as wise, instead described the characteristics of wisdom:

• A reflective listener who doesn’t judge, appreciates differences and learns from them
• Someone with good judgement who sees the big picture
• People who have developed resiliency by moving through their personal suffering
• A person who understands our fragile human condition and the complexity of our world
• Someone who has traveled and experienced other cultures
• Open-minded and humble-with an “unflappable sense of calm”
• Inspirational

Other Friends and Family Members—4% of respondents

Even though it is a category with only a few responses, it is heart-warming to read a parent recognizing his son for living an authentic life and being an effective listener or a friend acknowledged for being true to her priorities, and knowing “just what to say” when someone is in need.

Self—1% of respondents

Only the Boomers have a small percentage of respondents proclaiming themselves to be one of the wisest people on earth, but at least one of these shared it was because “I carry within me the spirit of God and I have been graced with life to learn and share.”  For the others, they simply jumped the gun on the next question in my wisdom survey:  Do you consider yourself to be wise?

To find out how my group of 56-75 year olds responded to this question, click here.